4 posts tagged “homebirth”
Earlier this week I was meeting with the homebirth midwife, Marcy Tardio, who caught my baby in 2007 and we were talking about birth, politics, and life. I mentioned that I attended homebirths this month with three different midwives and how great was to see everyone’s different style at each of these births. In New York City, we are amazingly lucky to have so many terrific homebirth midwives to choose from (unlike other areas where you might have one midwife serving a 300 mile or more radius).
Marcy agreed, and told me when people ask her about her birth philosophy, she sort of laughs and thinks, “I am a homebirth midwife, that is my philosophy.” Later my husband and I reflected on how true this is – that catching babies at home is such an amazing calling and the women who do this work all share a very similar, and unique in this culture, understanding of what it means to help women give birth. After that, so much of it is personality and finding the midwife that resonates with your own style and needs.
This being the case, over the next few months, I would like to introduce readers of this blog to several of the fabulous homebirth midwives who serve Brooklyn such that anyone interested in homebirthing might know more about their options.
Marcy Tardio, CNM
Marcy is a Park Slope-based mother of two sons, one grown with children of his own and another finishing high school. For nearly 21 years she has been a midwife and for the last 8 years she has been attending homebirths in New York City. She has caught almost 600 babies during this time, including my son Clay. She told me that she believes that most of the time, “when allowed to unfold naturally, birth works.”
Marcy described for me the first birth she ever saw – an improbable experience in a log cabin in the mountains of West Virginia. She saw a baby born in a footling breech into her father’s hands and started her path to midwifery. She believes that women can remain empowered in birth, where ever they are and whatever the circumstances when they are surrounded by people who treat them with love and respect. She told me that she does not feel that homebirth is “pass” and hospital births are “fail” but rather that providing homebirths is the service she feels called to at this point in her life and in her career.
In addition to midwifery, Marcy has also worked as a hospice nurse and a trauma and intensive care unit nurse – experiences that not only enhanced her skills as a midwife but that also ‘inform her understanding of life in all its wonder and fragility’, she said. She plays piano and oboe, takes dance classes, and has an incredibly nurturing presence. One client described to me why she hired Marcy, saying that she felt that Marcy was “hug-able” and when she thought of what she wanted from a midwife, this nurturing presence was central to her needs.
As a homebirth midwife, Marcy offers in-home prenatal care to women throughout New York City and areas of Long Island. From the initial interview, through all of your prenatal appointments, your birth, and your postpartum follow-up, Marcy comes to you for all your care. Like all homebirth midwives in New York City, Marcy accepts many types of insurance.
Akasha's Birth The weekend before you were born the rains came. The majestic storms beckoned your father and I indoors where we spent the weekend loving each other and creating a family space, quiet and holy. We sanctioned off some time from the distractions of the outside world. We watched movies and ate, laughed and talked, walked around our neighborhood and mused on our lives, and I flowed with the subtle rhythms of practice labor. The rains cooled the Earth by 10 or more degrees. I savored these last days of pregnancy, for holding you inside me was truly a joy beyond measure.
My pregnancy with you was unhindered and unmanaged. It opened a space within me to tune into our process and to cultivate faith. I traveled much of my first trimester- first out west for yoga training, and then slowly up the east coast. Spending a month alone, I explored my inner terrain. I retreated at an ashram and took a writer's workshop at Omega Institute. I took my time driving through this country, talking aloud to you in the car, dreaming about you. I focused my graduate work on the archetypes of Birth. My second trimester, I Belly Danced and created artwork for you with your father. I sat in circles of women and laughed and cried. I decided firmly I would not include obstetric care in my pregnancy. I had never doubted my ability to give birth, but I did struggle with expressing this truth to others, especially those people who carried a lot of fear around women's bodies and birthing. I transformed this struggle into a mature self confidence, one I would need to be a conscious parent for you in this culture. My third trimester, I spiraled ever more inward, and enjoyed nesting with full abandon. My home had never shined quite so brightly, full of charged energy, full of magic. I ritualized myself, body and soul, and I ritualized the journey into motherhood side by side my beloved husband, sisters, and friends. I wrote parts of my thesis curriculum, which I titled WomanSpace: Birthing Ourselves into Being. We planted a Spiral Garden. I watched Nature with new eyes- the slow evolution of spring, the abundance of the Earth ripening in harmony with the flowering of my body.
When the rains came that weekend before you came to us, I knew something was changing- all the Earth bathed Herself in preparation for you. The freshly chilled air brought relief to me as it assured I would be able to comfortably birth outdoors in the spa alter your father so lovingly built for our labor. When Monday came, I felt completely at peace and ready for your entrance. Your Godmother Whapio was coming to stay with us for a few weeks and would arrive later that day- she was a true mentor for your father and I during this pregnancy and assisted us in learning how to care for ourselves during the entire transformation- a witness, a friend, another dreamer on the journey. She was coming to help us hold a space for the birth and to be there should we need anything- a Midwife in the most ancient sense. The day went by sweetly, I was alone as your father went into work. I tidied up the house and arranged my birth alter with the little gifts that all your aunties had offered in your honor- yoni shells and goddess statues, salt and herbs and candles and sage. Throughout the day, I passed blood and mucous from my body, and the gentle surges that massaged me all weekend became more noticeable. I went about my day as usual. I was not certain that birth was imminent, and I was in no rush anyhow, enjoying each moment of interesting sensation. Your father arrived home around 3:30pm and the energy heightened in my body. He fed me and harried about making sure the water in the spa was just right. When Whapio arrived around 5:30pm, I was certain that this was labor. We laughed at how intelligent your timing was! (From here on out, time had no meaning, but later on we determined active labor lasted approximately 4-5 hours.) I spent some time alone in the bathroom letting loose, feeling my body dilate with the surges, touching myself and breathing and relaxing. When I did finally slip into the spa, luxurious warmth encapsulated me. I listened to my hypnobirthing cd, and opened up progressively as the cool winds danced through the trees and the sunset melted down into the Earth. Whapio kept her distance and tended the periphery, writing poetry for you. Your father did Yilu in the backyard, and kept his energy telepathically close on me in case I needed him. In the water I gracefully flowed with the surges of labor, visioning you circling around us and visioning my cervix opening like a lotus flower.
Time passed like this, your father coming in closer and closer until he was there with me in the water. I found myself shrouded in darkness. Nightime had arrived. The energy moving through my body was becoming very strong and your father helped me to move back into the bathroom so I could empty myself. It was at this point that I felt truly tested. The energy was becoming so powerful I could no longer contain it- I bellowed out and rocked and spiraled my hips. I could hear Whapio in the distance chanting, We are feeling very open, a child will soon be born… I found my voice and allowed the energy to pour out into deep vocal tones. I believe this is what people call transition.
Your father helped me find my place back into the water. The energy was shifting from allowing my cervix to dilate to simply riding the waves of birth. The challenge of waiting for dilation was over and was replaced by an overwhelming connection to the source of life. It felt like a glorious annihilation as the surges passed through me. I did not consciously push. My body did everything on its own, and I reveled in the experience- it was like being pummeled with heaven. Your father sat right at waters edge and it was as if we shared a brain. There was no chatter, no distraction. I wept and my heart exploded in gratitude. I cried out to your father, Thank you for your Seed! I cried out to you Akasha, as your spiraling came ever closer to us, I am so excited to meet you! Akasha! Akashaaaa! I Love You! Throughout labor I felt intrinsically connected with you, as if you were guiding me through the process. But this connection felt like some kind of ethereal communication. Then, there at the end of the labor, and as I began to feel you passing through the birth canal, the ethereal was replaced by the physical promise of you. It was amazing to feel your descent into the water. Your father watched you emerge and Whapio came in closer. You were born at 11:39pm. I caught you with my hands, completely in awe of your slippery body. Your umbilical chord was wrapped around your neck twice, so we tended to this and I was helped out of the water and into a warm palate in the living room. You took a little while to land, your soft breaths sounded a little mucousy to us, so we warmed you and talked to you and you found your rhythm. Your placenta emerged radiant and glistening, the Tree of Life leading the way. We left you attached to the placenta for the first couple of hours, and then your father tied and cut the cord. We were both tended to during this time, until you were crying and feeding lustily, and I was cleaned up and my yoni checked. Your father and I, in the bustle of this immediate postpartum, chanted Hu together and I acknowledged the Viraigi Masters as they circled around us just across the veils. Everything passed in a blur. We were finally tucked into bed for the night. I did not sleep that first night with you, but I went in and out of Soul Travel, flying over mountaintops and forests when I closed my eyes to rest.
My postpartum recovery was more challenging than I had imagined. I sustained a tear and some injury to my yoni, despite birthing upright in water at my own pace. This challenge brought with it a lesson in receiving help from others for healing and a deepened compassion for mothers everywhere. It also taught me to balance the pelvic floor strengthening I practice and teach in Chakra Belly Dance with plenty of rest and softening. My sense is that my pelvic floor was so strong, it needed to be literally blown through. I experienced this sensation as extremely powerful however, not dangerous or painful. Today it is a week out from your birth, and I am amazed at the power of the body to heal itself. Whapio has gathered strong medicine to care for me- comfrey and homeopathics, ledum and sepia. Your father prepared your placenta according to traditional Chinese medicine, and has been nursing me back to vibrancy. I am almost fully recovered now and you, my beloved daughter, are an amazing being to be with. Your father and I have spent these past days with you enjoying every moment. You are nursing so well. You love your Baba and your late night walks with him. You are very peaceful and seem very aware of your surroundings. We are madly in love with you, daughter- we sit and stare at you in amazement. We have vowed to serve you well in your mission on this planet. We are here to support you in whatever way you desire. It is a joy to introduce to you to your community and to your world as everything is poised to receive you. |
I am at home in rural Wisconsin visiting my family for a few weeks. My son is thrilled to be playing with the donkeys and sheep and my baby is happy to have so many extra adults around to hold him and play. My brother is soaking up as much information on babies as possible - he changed his first (cloth) diaper yesterday and he was a pro. Babywearing while farming, how to politely get people to give you gifts that fit your politics and principles, morning sickness, etc. - we have been chatting about it all.
There is so often this emphasis on information and on knowing more. With my first I had most of the tests, two ultrasounds, lots of doppler heartbeats, and I also turned down many available screenigs. What troubles me about this notion of 'information' is the sense that is it value-nuetral and benign when in fact these are forms of information that all but demand response in so many cases. Further, it is information that is so often wrong. Rapp's book Testing Women, Testing the Fetus speaks so nicely to this issue of testing being presented as simply information when it is so much more than that for the women who end up with the test results.
